Sometimes closure doesn’t have to be about conclusion. It could just be because the situations getting crazy and driving both parties nuts. So you decide to walk away. Its hard. But you know you have to. You hope that somewhere down the road, you could have some kind of reconciliation. For now though, you have to move on. And it might still kill you but you know that it will work itself out. Time will heal wounds and you will find that holy ground once again.
Its been about two weeks since we’ve spoken. I miss you. I miss my best friend. I had to unfriend you because I think its going to help me. The feelings have subsided but that doesn’t mean that I wish I could send you a quick message at 11pm at night. I know I can’t. You’re probably not in that place yet. You must hate me. I don’t know. But I do miss you. I miss our friendship. I have faith that we will work this out. I know we will. We always do.
“I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city and I hope sometimes you wonder about me”
I really thought I was losing you as a friend. I hate that feeling. I’ve been there before and it was not fun. You kept saying “this is stupid lets stop this right now”. I’m sorry for coming to you. How dare I go to Ireland and get lost in the scenery. How dare I tell you how I was feeling. I remember someone once telling me that “you could always come to me for anything, you even said yourself that you feel you could tell me anything and feel judged”. But I know I can’t argue with you about this. What’s crazy is that we were having a fight because I told you I had feelings for you. I told you that I loved you. Its so silly. So stupid. I have to let you be now. I know that.
The thing about telling someone how you feel could go one or two ways. Okay maybe three ways. Whatever. The first being that they’re understanding and will always be your friend no matter what. The second being shock, and than things get awkward and it comes to you two never speaking again. The third being that they feel the same way. I’ve had all three. The second one being the worst. It’s not like you planned on your feelings coming back. You feel you owe it to yourself and the other person to know how you feel. You hope that he or she will be understanding and will always love you and there for you as a friend.
22 Aug 2016
Well I just told you. I don’t think you’ve read it yet. I hope you take it well. Of course you will. You’re one of my really good friends. There is nothing I can’t tell you. And I know that no matter what happens that we will work this out. Update: all you said was oh. I know its a lot to take in. I understand. Rana said I shouldn’t talk you anymore. She’s probably right. Damn it I hate it when she’s right. I think what I wanted to get out of all this is just to talk through it. I think I just want to know that were still friends. No matter what.